Throughout my entire life I have always aimed to be as positive as I can be. The reality is that this is not an easy task, especially if you are surrounded by toxic people. You may not realize it, but the comments that negative people say, the things they do, and the environment they create are contagious and can lead to you becoming one of them.
This effect happens in many situations. You’ve may have realized that things that you never use to say you now say often as a result of being surrounded by these people. An example of this effect is when we are bombarded by the media and begin following whatever they show us, like dressing to match the latest trends or speaking in a different way to make sure we use the new and popular slang. We are very sensitive to the environment surrounding us, which is why we have to be aware that everything around us can influence us in either a negative or positive way.
What you want to do is to surround yourself with people and environments that influence you in a positive manner. You have to decide where you want to go, what you want to become, and try to engage in the kind of environments that will allow you to meet these goals. For example, if you want to be a successful person, you have to start surrounding yourself with successful people. It is as simple as that.
So why does becoming more positive even matter? Because being positive brings many, many benefits. Let’s explore some of them.
The benefits of being positive
Let’s start by saying that you become less stressed and more confident. If this happens, you will be better at making decisions, perhaps sell more or even better your chances of getting hired at your dream job and starting that climb up the corporate ladder. There are tons and tons of benefits of becoming more positive, these are just a few.
In general, being positive will help you live a healthier and happier life (if you care about being rich, it can also help you get there).
Being positive starts with the way you think. By default, this means that if you change the way you think to a more optimistic mindset, you will become a more positive person. The two biggest things that are going to stop you from accomplishing this are toxic people and your current habits.
What do I mean by our current habits? Well, if you are trying to become a more positive person, there are certain areas of your thinking that you would like to change and certain areas of your life you would like to become more optimistic. One of the reasons why it may be so hard to become more optimistic in these areas is because you have the habit of thinking the exact same way every single day; you say the same things, do the same things, and your brain is use to this way of thinking. Our brains become so use to these small habits that we may react without even thinking about it, it becomes part of our lives.
The first step in changing these habits is to be aware of them, which is not so easy if your brain automatically places the thought for you each day. However, you can start paying attention at the things of you say, your words, and understand that your words are the exact reflections of your thoughts.
10 Sayings That are Stopping you From Becoming an Optimistic Person in 2017
These 10 sayings may come from a negative thought. It does not necessarily mean that they are negative in nature every time they are used, but if they are said every single day, it may mean that you are not seeing the situation in the most optimistic way possible.
1. “I am not looking forward to work tomorrow”
I understand you may not like your job, but why ruin your day before it hasn’t even started? If you are saying this everyday, it means you are not happy with your job. Maybe if you end your night with a more positive attitude towards your job it will become just a little bit better. By simply saying this sentence, your negative thinking from the night before will influence your tomorrow, causing you to wake up in a bad mood the next day, spoiling your potential from the very beginning.
Something optimistic people do is try to make the most out of every situation by trying to see a bad situation in the best way they can. This is what you should do and why you should stop saying negative sentences. By repeating it, you are telling your brain to wake up in a bad mood every morning.
What to say instead: "I am going to make tomorrow a good day."
2. “I hate this, I hate that” or the word “hate” in general
Most people do not realize how strong the word hate is. Hating something or someone means you have a strong belief that you would be better off without this person/thing in your life.
By definition, the word hate means “a deep and extreme emotional dislike. It can be directed against individuals, groups, entities, objects, behaviors, or ideas. Hatred is often associated with feelings of anger, disgust and a disposition towards hostility.”
I think the definition says enough about why you should stop using that word. It is associated with anger, disgust and disposition, in other terms, you are bringing negative feelings into your life every time you are repeating it. I’d recommend to stop using it unless you really mean it.
What to say instead: “I dislike this/that” or “I don’t like this/that.”
3. “What’s the point/purpose of this/that?”
This one is not so obvious. You may ask how this is even a negative saying. If you are asking yourself what is the point of everything, it means that you are questioning it and that you do not see the point. It becomes a negative thing when you are questioning absolutely everything and you are making yourself miserable. This may lead you to stop feeling like doing anything, and continually be questioning instead of enjoying yourself and making the most out of things.
What to say instead: “Let’s give it a try.”
4. “I’m not good at this/that, thus I refuse to do it”
Talent can only bring you so far. Reality is that if you want to be the best at something you are always going to have to go through failure. This is how you learn and become good at things. Saying this can make you miss out on so many things because you are closing your mind to activities before even trying them. You are also so concerned about if you are good or not that you might even miss the whole point of doing the activity.
What to say instead: “I am going to give it my best shot.”
5. “I don’t want to meet/work with this person”
There is no way around it, we will have to work with someone we are not very similar to us. But by saying this, you are already telling your brain that the encounter with the other person will be unpleasant. I get it that there are a few people in our lives which we would rather not have met, but, repeating this to your brain can lead you towards becoming more negative person.
What to say instead: "I will try to learn something from this person."
6. “This just ruined my day”
Things happen, and sometimes they can make the rest of our day a bad one. For example, if you just learned that someone close to you passed away, no matter what happens that day it will not make the news better. However, sometimes we say this when something happened that can be easily fixed or moved on from, although we often decide not to. Your day may have so many more things ahead of you, but because you decided it ruined your day, it will end up that way. This saying can stop you from being optimistic if you are constantly repeating it.
What to say instead: "I’m gonna move on with my day."
7. “I want this week/month/year to go by quickly”
It is OK to get excited for things that are going to happen in the future. However, many times we want to fast forward without thinking all the things that we may miss out. Being positive is all about making the most out of every situation and giving meaning to every single day, week, and month. You have to be careful with not living just for the next big moment. You have to learn how to live in the moment as well, it will make you happier.
8. “This is such a waste of time”
Some things may actually feel like they are not worth your time, but by repeating this all the time, you are not trying to make the moment better. You are closing your mind to an opportunity or moment and you are bringing negative feelings. If it is something that you actually do not want to do, the best way to look at it is to try to get it over with so you can move on with your day.
What to say instead: “Let’s get it over with quickly so we can move on to other things.”
9. “I wish I could do that”
Part of becoming an optimistic person is that you are more confident in yourself. When you are constantly saying this, it might mean that you do not believe that you could do those things. However, if you really want to be able to do that one thing, chances are that you can learn how and practice to be able to do it. The key here is to not stop yourself from doing something just because your first reaction of not being able to do it in your lifetime.
What to say instead: “That’s cool, I am going to learn how to do that.”
10. “I envy him/her”
Probably one of the biggest things that is stopping you from becoming a more positive individual is being jealous of other people’s accomplishments. Also, this is just one way to say this. When you are talking behind other people’s back or giving dirty looks to people that have not done anything wrong, it may mean that you are thinking it and that you cannot control your emotion.
It is a human nature to be selfish, and for that reason we are also jealous and feel envy towards others. However, jealousy and envy will only bring you negative feelings. You should always try to be happy for other people’s accomplishments, and try to give it your best and do better each time instead of always comparing yourself with others.
What to say instead: “Good for him/her! I will work hard to achieve what him/her have accomplished.”
What most things that are negative have in common
There is one thing that all the sayings written above have in common, in fact most people fail to become more optimistic because of this one habit:
If you have not realized, the sayings above are all about complaining about a situation, person, thing, or place. Complaining in general brings feelings of anger and despair, and these feelings can make us become toxic people.
Of course, complaining is a human thing, but as a general rule, the less you complain, the less you are thinking like a pessimistic individual. The less you complain, the more room there is in your thoughts for being grateful, for being happy and for making the most out of your days.
As I said before, becoming positive makes you more confident and certain of your actions. If you are someone looking to climb the ladder of success, here is some great steps to start with.
What other sayings you believe can lead you to become a toxic person? Let me know in the comment section, I'd love to know!